listen to africa

Sheer chaos. Every hour or two, the doorbell rings with someone delivering spare tyres, USB sticks, microphone leads, a new passport, rechargeable batteries, books about Africa. In between answering the door, tax returns are being filled out, dentist appointments met (three this week…), insurance bought, farewell lunches organised and tea chests packed.

Meanwhile, our untouched bikes are sitting quietly in the corner, looking all shiny and new. And ominous. Yep, with one week to go before we set off, a terrible realisation is starting to dawn on me: “cycling across Africa” actually means doing a bit of cycling.

Until now, my daydreams about the trip have all been about the Africa bit – flying along red earth roads, wind in the hair, fit and lean and happy. Not the leaving England bit – wobbling out of the front door, probably in the rain, feet struggling to find the toe cages, pale and very flabby.

The horror really dawned on me a couple of days ago, when I needed a good sit down after sweeping up a few leaves in the garden. I’ve spent most of the past seven years working hard (usually in front of a computer screen, or a pint) to perfect a whole new level of unfitness: no gym, no jogging, no exercise at all. I did cycle once – a few miles about two years ago. It nearly killed me (there were hills).

The good news is that Huw is almost – but not quite – as unfit as I am. Which means that, in our first bit of route planning, we’ve both colluded in setting ourselves a truly pathetic target: two days to get from West Sussex to Portsmouth. Google Maps reckons we can walk it in under 15 hours. But Google Maps doesn’t realise how unfit we are.

So I’m feeling a mild attack of the fear, but it’s not too bad; I know from experience that the first few weeks will be hell, then suddenly we’ll realise we’ve cycled up a mountain without thinking anything of it. In the meantime, until fitness is thrust upon me, it’s back to the computer (there are Google Earth layers to be sorted), and maybe a nice cold pint this evening.